Violence and abuse are wrong no matter who does them. But you’re talking apples and oranges. One person being abusive (regardless of gender) isn’t the same as a societal gender-wide behavioral issue that was identified, incidentally, by a male behavior psychologist.
It’s not a case of women = good and man = bad. That’s not what toxic masculinity IS. There are good and shitty people of both genders. But the issue of toxic masculinity refers to behaviors that men are taught that harmful to themselves as well as to women. It’s not a gender issue. It’s a societal issue.
Generally, I find that people who come out the gate saying bullshit and other insults think of it as a male/female battle of some sort and don’t know what it really means, or that the phrase was coined by a man to describe behaviors that affect both genders in a negative way.