Aglaia Berlutti wrote a poignant piece about being called a difficult woman by a friend. She writes, “There’s an uncharted, desert-like territory in the whole set of outdated definitions about women, about what’s presumed “real” and, what’s even more troubling, what’s supposed to be feminine.” It is this murky concept of what it means to be feminine that difficult women challenge.
That was a great read, thanks for linking to it. And yes, you’re so right — it’s the concept of what it means to be feminine that’s at the root of it all. I’ve read posts by women saying dumb things like they aren’t sure if they can be a feminist because they like men, or high heels and it makes me want to scream.
There seems to be a collective agreement on what “masculine” and “feminine” mean and the definitions of both are to the detriment of everyone whether they fit into those definitions or not.
Maybe if we worried less about what makes a woman “feminine” or what “emasculates” men, we could start seeing each other as what we are, which is unique human beings with traits that are less about gender than just our unique personalities.
This was a great piece. I followed you — hope to read more. :)