Jason the first thing you need to do is remove words like fault and guilt from your vocabulary. ASD is not a defect. You wouldn't say your kid is a talented writer and it's your fault, right? So fault implies that there is something wrong with your son. There's not. He just processes information differently than most kids.

For that matter, your daughter might have it, too. Girls with ASD present different than boys. I know. I am ASD as well. So is my daughter.

Mostly, ASD kids process the world in a different way. Overstimultion is a real thing because for many ASD kids all the input is like a fire hose compared to a garden hose or drinking straw for non ASD kids.

All the crying and tears are when they can't take it anymore. It's not something wrong with them. Imagine turning up the volume on the world 100x and being exposed to that all day. You'd melt down too.

Please read all the warning in the comments about the therapy. I am so grateful I did not pursue any of it for my kid. They would have destroyed her. Glad my parents didn't with me, either.

Loook up Devon Price. Then scroll way, way back to the days when he wrote about ASD. Because I learned more about ASD from Devon than pretty much anyone else. Gave me information to chase down that was actually helpful.

You have tons to learn, for sure. But rest assured there is nothing "wrong" with your child. Or children, depending. It's just a differnet way of inhabiting the world, not necessarily bad. Just different. Best to you all.