I could have written much of what you wrote. One day, I just let go of it all. It got too damn heavy carrying all that around in my head and heart.
We are all just broken human beings in some way, and some more broken than others. Having a child doesn’t make anyone less broken or better able to parent.
I’m kind of with Jenny... one day I just accepted that my parents parented the only way they knew how. They gave all they knew how to based on what they had to work with.
I’m in my 50s, too. Our parents were of another generation.
My parents are both gone now, and I’m glad I found that peace before they passed. I hope you do, too. It’s not easy. I know. Been there. ❤