I believe that my longing for peer approval (ideally admiration), dedication to not being a disappointment to my family, and knowledge of multiple ways to organize a closet — coupled with my experience in living under the patriarchy and getting shit done — make me an adequate-to-ideal candidate for this thankless role.
This made me laugh. However, from the perspective of being a decade and change older, may I suggest that the getting shit done despite patriarchy is the most important in this paragraph? Also, the closet. Yeah. Closets!! Uggh.
The annual budget of fucks to give should likely only be things that make life better — especially if some of them might fall under the dreaded SJW category.
As for being a disappointment to family, that depends on the family. Some of the members of mine, I take disproportionate pleasure in disappointing.